One of the reasons I treat ADD is because I struggled with it as a child. Unfortunately, back in the old days, the terms ADHD, Executive Processing Disorder, Learning Disability, did not exist. Other terms were much more in vogue. Lazy and stupid come to mind. Kids were left back, were truant, and often gave up on their education by the time they reached high school. What has changed since the 60’s is that we have new tools to make better decisions about education, medication, psychotherapy, accommodations’ for school/work, and personal coaching.

Yet kids and parents come to my office feeling a similar frustration and discouragement that I once experience. Trouble at school and in the family is often leads to avoidance of challenges and responsibilities of life. ADD kids need effective encouragement from family and school and community to overcome their difficulties.

I remember well meaning, yet frustrating interventions by parents, pediatricians and teachers. There was no medication and no mental health professionals, just lots of pleading, advising, scolding, punishing, and finally, giving up. In the meantime, I suffered from the fact that I was letting everyone down, felt dumb as a doornail, hopeless and disconnected.

An estimated 7 to 10 % of people worldwide meet a diagnosis of ADHD.

We are in good company. Since 1937, ADD syndrome has been described with various words- Minimal Brain Dysfunction, Hyperactive Syndrome, Executive Control Disorder, and so on. In addition, it is not unusual for persons with ADD symptoms to also have other disturbances of learning, behavior, emotions, and conduct. When these disturbances are added together one can see that the worldwide rates for ADD and related conditions are higher than 10 percent. That’s a lot of people just like you.

The core organizing symptom for many of these “conditions’ is inattention. As I consider the current thinking in terms of my own difficulties both in childhood and in (middle aged) adulthood, inattention sums it up. Whether it goes by the name of distractibility, procrastination, forgetfulness, avoiding the required activities of daily living, or failing to finish what’s been started, it is inattention to “what needs to be done” that gets ADDers in trouble.

Sure everyone suffers from minor to moderate problems with inattention, but for the ADDer these problems are constant and radiate in all directions of life activity. Yes, your son or daughter may sit for endless hours playing a computer game, talking on the phone, or cultivating their unique interests, but they can only concentrate if they are highly motivated by these activities.

Grades do not generally motivate the courage and effort required to succeed academically. Nor, does parental praise for participating in academics, recreational pursuits, and house hold chores instill the motivation to focus on academics. ADDers need to learn to overcome their neurobehavioral difficulties from the inside out.

ADD, as with other negative or positive psychological conditions, has its origins in the brain. Inattention affects that part of the brain which has most recently developed and is therefore most prone to disturbance. The executive functions of the brain are seen as the places where our attention, personality, emotional control, creativity, social sensitivities originate.

People do not either “have or do not have” ADD. ADD as with any other psychological capability functions exists on a continuum. No one is completely unhappy or happy, unintelligent or intelligent, weak or strong, or… you get the idea. Some of us have extraordinary attention and some of us have extraordinary inattention and most of us are somewhere in between.

Let’s take a brief look at the case of Paul Orfalea, as he describes himself in his book Copy This. Mr. Orfalea suffered from the symptoms of ADHD described above. He had the same difficulties in school and family that you are probably familiar with. However, he was motivated by a social interest. He started a small copying business in an 8 x 12 foot store and now has a worldwide business encompassing 1200 stores earning 2 billion dollars a year! You may know the name of Mr. Orfalea business-Kinko.

The Paul Orfalea story is a wonderful case of being inspired to create a useful business to overcome his personal inferiority (learning problems). for significance. He used his socially interested striving create a business that continues to be useful to the community.

What might be possible for your son or daughter if they could develop their own unique strengths? Most of us do not have the capability, opportunity, or good fortune to become a celebrity, or create a 2 billion dollar business. However, we can all make significant contributions to our occupations (including school), our close intimate relationships, and to the betterment of the human community through our friendships and citizenship. Does true happiness reside in having 2 billion dollars or in the appreciation and affection of other people?

What if we all received more effective encouragement? What if we could discover our strengths instead of having our weakness thrown at us from all directions? These questions are key to my work with adolescents, families, and schools. Too many kids are still not discovering their unique strengths and therefore may never discover how they can contribute to something bigger than themselves.

Our work together can mobilize your adolescent’s desire for optimal functioning and this desire will in turn melt their resistance to thriving. My work is informed by this central philosophical question: “How can we encourage our adolescents to discover their natural strivings to create a better life and world?”

If you would like to make an appointment to evaluate the role of ADD in your family, please use our contact form or call 516.256.1740.