Parents, if you find yourself on this site, you are probably struggling with your adolescents. Family counseling can help if you have some of the following concerns:

• I’m always worried that I will say the wrong thing.
• We can’t talk anymore, let alone cooperate.
• Sometimes I worry that I will get angrier than my teen.
• I worry that my son/daughter will get so out of hand they will lose it.
• I feel so overwhelmed and discouraged that I don’t even bother anymore.
• I cringe every time the phone rings because I know she’s is at it again.
• He is so irresponsible.
• I feel so guilty that I just give her whatever she wants.
• I want to throw him out and I know that it won’t help.

In my experience, the issues and emotional problems facing adolescents are not entirely created by their parents. Adolescents are challenged by the effects of many other bio-psychosocial influences including:

• An inherited vulnerable nervous system that makes problems like depression, anxiety, anger, underachievement, and opposition more likely to occur.
• An ongoing family conflict related to an unhappy marriage, poor communication skills, in-laws, work problems, financial difficulties, addiction, parental emotional problems, severe sibling rivalry, and so on.
• Our society’s limited support to families and adolescents.
• The more toxic elements of our society including, a valueless media, overconsumption, meaninglessness, self-indulgence, incivility, irresponsibility, and a limited sense of belonging to a larger community.
• The creation of mistaken attitudes about themselves, other people, the world, and the future.

This perspective avoids blaming the teen, parents, or society. Eliminating the blame game frees families to choose and commit to values and goals that benefit all members of the family, and, consequently, the community and society in general.

My role as a family counselor becomes one of a developmental coach moving the adolescent and family closer to their chosen values and goals. As the adolescent and family learn to cooperate they discover that they are able to solve problems that previously seemed unsolvable. As cooperation and mutual encouragement grow, family conflicts diminish and a genuine sense of belonging is created for all members of the family.

My ultimate goal is to encourage parents to develop a genuine sense of self-esteem in their adolescent. This true self esteem will encourage the teen to develop their unique strengths along with a desire to contribute to the well-being of the community.

For more information or to make an appointment please use our contact form or call 516.256.1740.