Writing in the May, 18 th issue of the New Yorker, Jonah Lehrer discusses the experiments of the psychologist Walter Mischel. Michel sat young children down in front of a bowl of marshmalllows, cookies, and pretzels. He told them that he would be leaving the room. If they rang a bell he would come running back and they could have one treat. However, if they waited for him to return they could have two treats. The majority of the children could not wait. They ate the treats before Mischel returned, rang the bell forfeiting the extra treat, and some ate everything in the bowl. The minority who waited got their two treats. Mischel and his students have followed these children for the past 30 years. The majority of children who could not wait had poorer educational and behavioral outcomes (trouble in school, lower SAT scores) when compared to those children who could delay their gratification. Mischel's reasearch supports the idea that self-control is more significant for a well lived life than is IQ.

Continue reading "Don't Eat the Marshmellow! the secret of self-control" »

Let's take a brief look at the life of PAUL ORFALEA, as he describes it in his book COPY THIS. Mr. Orfalea struggled with the symptoms of ADHD. he had the same difficulties that you or your son or your daughter are having.

Mr. Orfalea had something inside him that made him choose to overcome his difficutlties. He had what Alfred Adler, a contemporary of Sigmund Freud, called Social Interest. Social Interest is an innate potential in all human beings. It allows us to see other people and their happiness as vital to our own happiness.

Mr. Orfalea opened a small copying business in an 8 x 12 foot store front. He now has 1200 stores earning 2 billion dollars a year! Orffalea story is a wonderful example of what someone can do with sufficeint motivation to overcome their difficulties

Continue reading "Attention Deficit Disorders 3" »

The core organizing symtptom for this condition is inattention.As I consider my own difficulties in childhood and adulthood inattention does sum things up nicely. Whether it goes by the name of distractability, procrastination, forgetfulness, failing to finish what was started, or avoiding required activities it is inattention to what needs to be done that get ADDers in trouble.

Sure everyone has occassional problem with attention. For ADDers the inattention radiates in many directions in life. Yes, they may be able to talk on the phone for hours, play a computer game for the entire weekend, or cultivate some unique interest but given a task that does not motivate them they are fused to inacitivty.

Continue reading "Attention Deficit Disorders 2" »

One of the reasons that I treat teens and adults with ADD/ADHD is that I struggled with the disorder when I was young. Unfortunately, back in the old days the terms ADD/ADHD, Learning Disorder, Auditory Processing Disorder, and so on did not exist. Other terms such as not trying hard enough, lazy or even stupid were used. Many kids simply gave up on their educations and themselves.

What has changed since the early 70's is that we have new tools better help kids who are struggling with their learning and behavior. Special Education, counseling, medication, accomodations and even personal coaching can all make a significant contribution to academic and life success. ADD does not have to be a life sentence of frustration and failure.

Despite the tools that are available kids and families come to my office feeling the same frustration and discouragement that I once experienced. The tools that are available seem to have a modest impact on academic difficulty and conflict in the family. In fact, the tools that we now use may make these kids (and families) feel even more discouraged resulting in a style of living that avoids facing the tasks of life.

Continue reading "Attention Deficit Disorders 1" »

As young people become discouraged they begin to form the impression that the normal tasks of social living are too difficult. With caring and encouraging adults to guide them young people can develop a style of living that is courageous and creative. They find thier place in the world and make thier unique contribution to the community. Without such adults young people are left to navigate a increasing complex global society without the preparation to develop a creative style of living.

Over the years, mental health and other professionals have developed a problem centered view of young people. This view labels young people n various ways: learning disabled, attention deficit disorder, drug user, underachiever, emotionally disturbed, and so on. Such categorizing young people can be useful in getting kids into some sort of treatment. However, a young person already discourged about their appearances, abilities, social standing, and psychological maturity may not find this process ideal.

Continue reading "Adolescents and Young Adults 2" »

Adolescence is a time in our life span that is full of changes. Our bodies, hormones, intellectual abilities, emotional development, social competence, sexual awareness, and moral reasoning are in a state of change. While these internal changes are occurring we are also trying to form a sense of identity and our place in the larger "adult" world. Broadly speaking, the ages of adolescence are said to range from the age of 13 thru 24.

Due to the complexities of modern life many young people remain with their families well beyond what has traditionally been expected. Yet, adolescence is also a time when adults have less and less to do with teens. Some researchers report that that some young people are spending less than 20 minutes a day in quality conversations with adults. The challenge for young people is enromous. They must adjust to an increasing complicated world with insufficent adult enocuragement and guidance.

Continue reading "Adolescents and Young Adults 1" »

Positive Psychology in the 1990's from the efforts of clinical psychologist who attempted to eliminate mental health problems in their clients. As these psychologists attempted to move thier clients away from clinical depression they found that while these clients did become lesss depressed they also reported a feeling of being disconnection from others and a disturbing sense of meaninglessness.

The mission of positive psychology was born from this research. Martin Seligman and others believed that psychology could and must do better then simply alleviate symptoms of psychological disturbance.

Positive Psychology seeks to facilitate optimal development throughout a person's life span. The focus is on the whole person, their strenghts, weaknesses, values, resources, and possibilities. The goal is to encourage clients to flourish in all directions that their capabilities. cirumstances, and willingness allow. Positive Psychology encourages people to strive, with all their creative power, to design a life worth living.

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Insurance matters

In recent weeks many of you have complained about your healthcare. Doctors who do not return calls, increased premiums, concerns about coverage for mental health and/or addiction treatment, and coverage for chronic medical conditions (mental or physical) and long term care. On my end, it has been becoming increasingly harder and harder to accept how insurance companies are choosing to treat mental health professionals. Several insurers have dropped their fees below a livable level. One has dropped their fee by 30%! My experience has been that once one insurer lowers their fees it is not long before they all do. Many insurance carriers are instituting policies such as “wellness and outcome assessments” where THEY, not you and I, determine whether or not you need to be in psychotherapy! This is the state of health care today. Last week PBS’s Frontiline aired a report about healthcare in America. A healthcare specialist said that he was not optimistic about improvements to the system. His reasoning is that doctors and hospitals won’t reduce their fees and patients demand too many services!!! This specialist ignored his own compensation package and the fact that the healthcare insurers are posting significant profits.

Depreciation of mental health

I realize that in these times when so many of our fellow citizens are out of work and in dire straits my own concerns about mental health care may seem minor. However, I have a view of mental health that differs from insurers. My view of mental health involves every person using their full capabilities to contribute to betterment of humanity. This is how we find happiness. We see ourselves as part of the human community and as such link our happiness to the happiness of other people. Psychotherapy is the art and science of enabling people to find this sort of happiness. This can only be done in a personal relationship that systematically and collaboratively assists another person to discover their place in the human family and encourages an interest, a passion, in making a meaningful contribution.

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Medication is often promoted as a silver bullet to overcome psychological problems. There can be no doubt that medication is of significant benefit for many people with chronic depression, trauma conditions, bipolar disorders, and severe anxiety to name a few. Research and clinical work have revealed that after psychological symptoms have diminished or stabilized with medication patients continue to suffer from a range of issues. Neurons and chemistry cannot account for the complex range of impressions that influence a person over the course of their life.
Diminishing symptoms does not help a person choose a life of value and purpose. In fact, the psychologist Abraham Maslow asserted that psychological problems are often caused by a failure to live a creative meaningful life. In order to create a life of meaning it is necessary to embark on an inward journey of spiritual and psychological renewal. A journey that seems embedded into human nature and that has appeared in many forms throughout human history.
Medication can and does provide relief; however, if the real cause of psychological symptoms is a struggle for value, meaning, and purpose, no medication will prove useful in the long term. Medication, without psychotherapeutic guidance, could blunt a natural striving to overcome problems by living a value filled life.
Comprehensive psychotherapy over the short or long haul can diminish symptoms, build resilience, and promote meaningful living. Medication can best seen as providing the necessary relief to resume this journey toward a well lived life.

How do you create a well-lived life? In my view, no one can give us the rule book for how to create a life of meaning and purpose. A well-lived life is something that we must discover and create for ourselves. We can discover our purpose for living by accepting the good and the bad of our lives. For it is not the external good fortune of our lives- health, fame, wealth, status, and luck- that make us what we are. Echoing the Roman emperor and philosopher Marcus Aurelius, "the truly fortunate person has created his own good fortune through the good habits of the soul, good intentions, and good actions."

The purpose of my weblog is to provide reflections that I gather from the science of positive psychology, the indiviudal psychology of Alfred Adler, and philosophers both West and East that provide clues for the creation of a well-lived life. I will also draw on the insights of other fields such as science, film, and the contemporary scene that could provide further guidelines useful to this journey.

I trust the reader will not get the impression that I have somehow mastered my life or have attained enlightenment, I hope to convey a sense of being a fellow traveler who is striving to create a well-lived life. I also hope that you will participate in this weblog with your own reflections on a well-lived life.